By Wango Chango, Sex Pirate
Recently while working for The Gazette, we were introduced to a young connoisseur of pounding vag named Wango Chango. Hailing from the mean streets of Fountain Hall, this tall glass of manhood sported an un-ironic moustache and baggy American Eagle Jeans that were loose enough to gently grind against his Birkenstocks. With hair slicked back and an upside down visor resting gently on his wannabe varsity athlete dome, he began to wax philosophical about one of the sexier new products on the market place: Durex’s Play Vibration ring.
Wango Chango here, reporting for The Dalhousie Gazette.
This just in! Breaking news! I know how to make girls come three times as hard bro (and dude’s too, but I don’t rock that thang). The secret is a device called the Vibrating Cock Ring from Outer Space (a.k.a Kryptopussy). Actually, the product is under Durex’s line of Play Vibration products, designed for girls rocking it solo or performing as a duo (Sonny and Cher style) with their lovers.
The vibrating ring is a simple design. Press the on button (or as I refer to it: “go time”) and it’s lift off, Apollo 13 style, because shit is going to get fucked! Strapping it on your wang is a bit of an endeavour. The secret is to get it nice and moist beforehand. After sliding it onto your junk, roll on a condom. Insert into vagina and boom! You get a pussy that begins to purr due to all the vibrations – cat metaphor son!
As for how it rocks your body: if you’re a guy, it’s nothing spectacular. One of the highlights is watching your penis subtly wave from side to side due to the vibrations. It’s like a little vibrator, or in my case, a massive 12-inch dildo.
For the guys the only pleasure derives from jamming yourself all up in your ladies grill and watching her cash out a subscription to O Magazine. And by O Magazine, I mean O Facial, because she’s having an orgasm son.
If you’re a little pussy, this 20-minute-long device will last two or three sessions with your lady friend. However, for those of us with raging boner’s and libidos stronger than He Man, the 20 minutes will seem a short amount of time for the $9 price tag.
However, watching that girl get freaky on your robot wang is certainly worth at least $20.
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